Volunteering

Today is day 2 of my time volunteering with the Lebsnon Mason & Monroe Railroad and the last day of the event. So far, with the exception of one day; I have gone out every night this week to do...something. Whether it be social or theater driven or obligations, I am ready for a night of not going anywhere. That will happen either tonight or tomorrow night, but hopefully soon. I think when we got back from vacation, we hit the ground running! 

  

Postscript 2015 Holiday Season

Looking back over the year of 2015, there is a lot that has happened that I didn't see coming. Some of it good and some bad, but lately I find it difficult to see a lot of the good among the bad.  Even more frustrating, I feel lately like every time I get a little ahead of the game, something happens to pull me back or shut me down.

Right now, the biggest thing pulling me down is debt. We have a few credit cards, but probably not more than the average American our age.We can make all of our payments, but we are just spinning wheels trying to get ahead. The easiest thing for us to do would be to consolidate our loans to make paying them off easier. I know this is the path we should take, but getting there is so difficult!  Also, husband is trying to get into an academic program that is ridiculously competitive and I am trying to help him (with what little time I have).  Recently, we hit a road block there because of some government loophole that prevents his loans from satisfying his tuition payment for the past semester. That proved to be a huge frustration and it is difficult for me to let it go.

The holidays loom before us and all I want to do is forget for a few days about all the crap we have going on and just relax. I do not think there is anything more we can do between now and the end of the holidays anyway.  I do not want these disparaging thoughts to ruin my Christmas cheer!  I guess what I need to do is to just accept that things are the way they are and that no amount of worrying is going to change things. Furthermore, I will just stress myself out by thinking of these things more over the holidays. This is the first time ever that I have felt this helplessly stressed around the holiday season. Usually, I am immune to holiday stress and it just slips over my head.  This year, I feel as if I am drowning.  I am tired of feeling this way. I think my goal for 2016 is going to be to get a better handle on things financially in my life.  I want to turn those things that are just out of my reach into something that is achievable. I think I can do this, but I am going to need some help.Time to focus on how I can help myself get to where I want to be and who in my life can help me on my journey.

That used to be me

My family has always been close. When I was young, we joined frequently for cook outs, birthday parties and other family functions. I do not have a very large family, but my aunts, uncles and cousins came together and bonded over food, drink and laughter. My cousins and I frequently played together outside; egg hunts, baseball, soccer; any excuse to be active together and enjoy the sunshine.

Six years ago, I made the decision to move from northeastern to southwestern Ohio. It may not sound like a very far move, but it took me hours away from my family. At the time I made the decision, I actually knew more people in southern Ohio than I did up north. All of my friends had moved away or lost touch, and though I did have my family, it was not enough to tempt me to stay. I followed my fiance down south and we started our life together.

Although my family is now far away, we live a short drive from my husband's parents and brother, so we still have a family network of sorts. I also have a very good relationship with my in-law, so that helps to fill the family gap I left behind.

It is one thing to see a person every day or week, and an entirely different notion to keep in contact by phone or email. I still have weekly phone conversations with my mom, but it is not the same as seeing her. My brothers and I were never terribly close, and they both now live out of state. We talk sporadically, but I doubt we will ever be close friends. They both have too much in common with each other and not enough in common with me. My mother is now my connection to family events. If someone gets hurt, pregnant, engaged or has any other noteworthy event; she keeps me informed. Without her, I am not sure I would ever know much of anything that went on up north.

I have six cousins. Of those six, three are older than me and three are younger; I am the exact middle cousin. All of my cousins who are older now have children of their own. In fact, there is now this entire new generation of people; eight of them!  In the years since I have moved, the biggest news has centered around my older cousins having babies and our family growing because of it.

I do get to travel up north to see my family a few times each year. These visits usually center around a holiday of sorts or some sort of major life event that calls us all to each others presence. A few years ago, some family members decided that we need an excuse to see each other at a time that is not holiday-bound.  My parents hosted the first Gathering in late September that year.  That was two years ago, and it was such a success that my mom has faithfully organized it again each year since.

This weekend will be the third Gathering up at my parents house. When we go up there, it feels like a mini vacation. I get to see people I normally don't, forget the rush of my life in southern Ohio, and take life at a slower pace than I typically do. Nowadays, all the cousins gather together. We embrace, we eat, we drink wine and we laugh together about when we were younger. All of a sudden, we are the adults. When did this happen?  I see my younger cousins running in the yard, playing with toys and getting muddied knees from backyard sports and I think to myself; that used to be me. 

Highlights of the week

It has been a very busy week, not to mention an incredibly hectic summer. As it is improbable that I could record the happenings of this entire summer, I will be content with shedding light upon some of the events of the past seven days.  The first major highlight happened last Wednesday at our monthly Board meeting. After the meeting had ended, I stood and went to stretch, when my left foot decided to both give out and fall asleep at the same time.  I slow tumbled backwards and, although I did manage to save my ass from getting unnecessarily beaten, I was unable to prevent my left arm from getting a large purple bruise. The bruise ended up being so extensive that it looked more like something that one would find in a spousal abuse case than as a result of a slow motion fall.
The next event happened later that same evening, when I learned that my husband has landed the role in our fall play, Boeing Boeing.  It is a comical farce in which the lead is juggling three different fiances who all work in a different Boeing Boeing plan as stewardesses. The comedy begins when there is a faster Jumbo Jet introduced and the perfect schedule he was working falls to chaos. It is a good thing that I am the type of person who was more excited and proud of my husband than worried that he is going to be making out on stage with three separate women; none of them myself.
The third highlight I feel the need to document happened on Friday.   We got a call from one of our close friends around 4:30pm and she said that her husband and herself had found a cat in the back of their apartment complex and we needed to come take it. I should interject here by pointing out that the reason they could not keep the cat was that they have a very large, hyper dog, making the environment non conducive to a scared feline.   What we found was a 7 week old kitten, who we promptly put in a cat carrier, took to the vet (just in case) and then went to PetsMart on the way home to get some kitten chow.  She has been huddled up under our bed for the past two days and, though she comes out to eat and drink, she is content to be under the bed and has not yet allowed us to gain her trust.  Hopefully, with this being a calmer environment, she will eventually come out and realize that we only mean the best for her. Her name is Ballista.

My own personal beeswax

As many of you have figured out by now, I am a librarian and work in a downtown public library. This means that every day is a unique blend of surprises; not all of them good.  It is common practice to walk around the library every so often to ensure that nothing is happening that would be unscrupulous or otherwise behaviorally unsound. On one such round today, it was discovered that a half empty can of Beeswax was sitting open on a table. This Beeswax also had a few human hairs mixed into the wax.  A coworker of mine often says the phrase "my own personal beeswax."  Today, we found someone else's own personal beeswax and it was definitely not all we wanted it to be. The owner of the beeswax never did come forward to claim his or her lost item. However, on a lighter note, the finding of the beeswax did spur a discussion on How much money would it take for you to eat one spoonful of this beeswax?  It was decided by many that there is no amount of money that could pay for such a degrading act.

Poor baby!

My poor hubby, he has a fever and couldn't even eat Grampa's steak. I hope he feels better soon.

A restored faith in humanity

Many service-based jobs can be incredibly thankless most of the time. In those rare instances when someone does bother to thank the service provider, that person tends to hold on to that sentiment as her or she has no idea when the next one may come along.  In the midst of those people complaining because they either have not gotten what they want, or got what they wanted too late, or they couldn't accurately express what they wanted in the first place, leaving the service provider completely unable to fill the request.

At any rate, even more rare than the actual service provider getting praise, is when an outside person who is not at all involved in the situation, steps in and offers assistance without expecting anything in return. This person is often called the "Good Samaritan."  Today, I first hand witnessed such an event and it went as follows...

A gentleman came to the desk to ask if he could get a new library card (shifting to my specific service profession, being a librarian).  After looking him up in the system, I discovered that he was still in the system and that he owed $17.60 in late fines. I informed him of this, and updated his account with his correct contact information, etc. (This is not the uncommon part, this happens every single day I am at work.) Meanwhile, a lady was using one of our self-check outs to get her books. On her way out, she slapped $20 down on the counter and said "This is for his fines." Before I had the chance to say anything, she had left. I informed the gentleman what had just happened and promptly printed him out a receipt for the expense, got him a new library card and explained the policies of the library to him.  He came up three times after that to thank me and to say that he must have a guardian angel, and that he told his wife and she scarcely could believe the whole story.

Every once in a grand while, if you keep your eyes peeled, you will find these types of situations. They do not come by often and they often occur in the blink of an eye, but they are there. It is moments like this one that remind me that humanity is not all bad, that there are good people in the world, and that I can run into them when least expected, if only I remember to keep my eyes peeled.