My family has always been close. When I was young, we joined frequently for cook outs, birthday parties and other family functions. I do not have a very large family, but my aunts, uncles and cousins came together and bonded over food, drink and laughter. My cousins and I frequently played together outside; egg hunts, baseball, soccer; any excuse to be active together and enjoy the sunshine.
Six years ago, I made the decision to move from northeastern to southwestern Ohio. It may not sound like a very far move, but it took me hours away from my family. At the time I made the decision, I actually knew more people in southern Ohio than I did up north. All of my friends had moved away or lost touch, and though I did have my family, it was not enough to tempt me to stay. I followed my fiance down south and we started our life together.
Although my family is now far away, we live a short drive from my husband's parents and brother, so we still have a family network of sorts. I also have a very good relationship with my in-law, so that helps to fill the family gap I left behind.
It is one thing to see a person every day or week, and an entirely different notion to keep in contact by phone or email. I still have weekly phone conversations with my mom, but it is not the same as seeing her. My brothers and I were never terribly close, and they both now live out of state. We talk sporadically, but I doubt we will ever be close friends. They both have too much in common with each other and not enough in common with me. My mother is now my connection to family events. If someone gets hurt, pregnant, engaged or has any other noteworthy event; she keeps me informed. Without her, I am not sure I would ever know much of anything that went on up north.
I have six cousins. Of those six, three are older than me and three are younger; I am the exact middle cousin. All of my cousins who are older now have children of their own. In fact, there is now this entire new generation of people; eight of them! In the years since I have moved, the biggest news has centered around my older cousins having babies and our family growing because of it.
I do get to travel up north to see my family a few times each year. These visits usually center around a holiday of sorts or some sort of major life event that calls us all to each others presence. A few years ago, some family members decided that we need an excuse to see each other at a time that is not holiday-bound. My parents hosted the first Gathering in late September that year. That was two years ago, and it was such a success that my mom has faithfully organized it again each year since.
This weekend will be the third Gathering up at my parents house. When we go up there, it feels like a mini vacation. I get to see people I normally don't, forget the rush of my life in southern Ohio, and take life at a slower pace than I typically do. Nowadays, all the cousins gather together. We embrace, we eat, we drink wine and we laugh together about when we were younger. All of a sudden, we are the adults. When did this happen? I see my younger cousins running in the yard, playing with toys and getting muddied knees from backyard sports and I think to myself; that used to be me.
